Whilst I’m still running round getting articles written and official launch event planned for 27th October, I thought I’d take a small moment to reflect on today. The day I thought would never happen – my book is finally published. Hurrah!! Drum roll, trumpets and all that.
Being a rather poignant day for me and my family, it’s also apt to think about why I started writing my book in the first place, and what I hope to achieve by having done so. It took me the best part of a year before I was able to find the space in my head to feel able to revisit the experience of IVF. My initial aim was one of pure self-interest. I thought that getting everything down on paper would be cathartic – and it was. I had absolutely no intention of sharing any of it with anyone, James and my parents included. I didn’t see the point.
However, as I began to write things down, I began to remember more and more, and I eventually wondered if it might be worth writing a book about. Then I managed to convince myself that actually, no-one would be interested in my story, and the whole thing turned into one of those ‘pie in the sky’ dreams. Looking after twins was pretty much a full-time occupation anyway, and along with the fact that I was self-employed part-time and had to work, and I also needed to finish my studies, the idea and the project fell by the wayside. My desire to graduate with a diploma, followed by a degree in a subject I loved was very important to me and I needed to complete the educational path I’d already chosen. So, that’s what I did.
But then, before I graduated, something happened. Something that made me think that maybe I should try and complete that book. Maybe it had the potential to help someone out there who is, or could in the future, be experiencing fertility issues. My dad introduced me to a colleague of his who was struggling with her own IVF battle. We spoke. We had a connection. And I was able to help her in a way that probably only a fellow ‘IVFer’ could. So, to you Michelle, I say a huge thank you. For providing the inspiration I needed to finish my book and get me to this moment today. You are a very special friend indeed.
And to anyone else out there who is or will be on the IVF merry-go-round – I wish you all the baby dust and positive vibes in the world. Stay strong ♥