To coincide with National Infertility Awareness Week I thought it might be useful to post a daily update with some nuggets of advice about how to cope if you find yourself on the IVF path. Based on an article I wrote for the Irish Daily Star newspaper, today’s post covers A to D:

A   Acceptance
When you’re first told that you need medical help to have a family one of your first reactions could be that of disbelief. It will take some time to sink in, but the sooner you can come to terms with accepting that ‘it is what it is’, the sooner you can start to think ahead and be proactive and positive about what you need to do next. It is hard as all you can see initially is the huge mountain you need to climb, but that feeling will pass when you’re ready for it to. Don’t rush it. Let each stage take its course and you’ll find that you’ll know when you’re ready for the next step in the process.

B   Blame
To be avoided at all costs as the only thing it does is waste emotional energy.  You’ll more than likely want something or someone to blame for the situation you find yourself in, whether that’s discovering you need treatment, or getting a negative pregnancy test afterwards – it’s human nature to want to find a reason. By all means allow yourself the indulgence of thinking about the unfairness of it all – I spent many days doing exactly that – but recognise that ultimately it is no-one’s fault; least of all yours.

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If, like me, you’re quite an emotional person, crying will be par for the course. It’s important not to try and suppress it whenever it hits, even if you’re in the middle of the fruit and veg aisle at Sainsbury’s! There could be any number of triggers that set you off, most of which will be completely out of your control, so when it happens just go with it. You’ll feel a whole lot better afterwards.

D   Doubt
You may have lots of doubts when you learn that you need fertility treatment – the emotional, mental and physical impact, the worry of whether it will work or not, the concerns about having to take so much strong medication; the list is endless. It may be difficult to recognise your real feelings about treatment as your head can very quickly get overloaded with information and questions that it leaves you no space to think. Give it a little time though and you will know whether the IVF route is the one for you. You will probably always have doubts of some description throughout the process, but your heart will guide you through, whichever path you’ve chosen.

Tune in tomorrow for E to H …