An A to Z of IVF, Part 3 (I to L)

I    Irrationality
IVF patients can develop a tendency to read anything into everything. What if this and what if that, your thoughts can be incredibly difficult to deal with and you may feel like you’re going crazy. When emotions are involved it’s always more of a struggle to try and look at things in a straightforward, logical fashion.  If you find yourself getting carried away in your thoughts try and distract yourself by doing something detailed that keeps your mind occupied.  Sleep is always good too – it gives your head time to dispel the cloudiness. Alternatively, write your fears or questions down then look at them again later and see how you answer your original thoughts. Sometimes all it needs is a little time to clear your head.

J    Journal
Keep one. It may seem unnecessary at the time but at the very least it will help you to get all your thoughts and feelings out of your head. Just the act of writing things down is therapeutic in itself and it may help later on if you find yourself struggling with negative cycles – it is a form of stress relief. It could also help others to understand what you’re going through, if you feel like sharing it.

K    Knowledge
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Generally a good thing – the act of researching and finding out about your/your partner’s condition and the type of treatment you’re having can be a huge help. It’s also good to read about other people’s experiences as it can give you some comfort knowing that everything you’re feeling and going through is completely normal. It can also boost your mood reading about people who have had successful cycles, and give you reassurance that other people have gone on to fulfilling lives regardless of whether their cycles worked. It’s not easy to do that when you’re in the midst of things; just being mindful of it is enough at the time. You should also be sure to research anything of a medical nature carefully, and don’t draw conclusions in isolation – I didn’t always do that and found myself in a spiral of unnecessary panic on many occasions. Try and keep what you learn in perspective – at the end of the day your situation is totally unique and what is true of one person’s experience may not be entirely true of yours.

L    Loneliness
If you tend to internalise your emotions, loneliness is a real risk. If you’ve chosen to tell friends and family what you’re going through then you may be able to avoid it. There will always be an element of loneliness though, due to the nature of IVF and the fact that it’s your body it’s happening to. If you find it getting out of hand try and talk to someone. Use the infertility/fertility forums online – they can be very effective in providing an outlet and making you feel less alone.

Tomorrow … M to P